fewer things trigger my absolute god damned kaczynskian rage like having to deal with the financial aid office. i called you fucking DAYS ago, trying to wring information from you about my grants, and it was getting blood from a god damned stone. talking to fucking morons who don't know shit about shit, and can't find shit about shit, getting redirected to apparently the only people who know shit about shit who aren't even in their god damned office. and now that i'm calling you monday, the last day i can even do anything about this shit, your fucking phones are overloaded! MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE YOU GOD DAMNED BASTARDS DON'T TELL PEOPLE WHAT THEY NEED TO KNOW BEFORE THE LAST FUCKING MINUTE SO EVERYBODY HAS TO CALL YOU AT THE LAST FUCKING MINUTE. i swear to god, if this fucking voice chimes in and says that my estimated wait time is 41 minutes one more time, i am going to scream. it's changed to 33 minutes now. hooray.

i'm less frustrated by my advisor, but holy fucking shit dude, how do you not know the policies of the god damned school? first you tell me i have to pay in full tuesday, then it's wednesday, then it's i can pay half wednesday and the other half before the end of the summer semester, what the fuck is it? do you not just have a big book o' policies that your students are gonna need to know? like do they not just have a webpage you can look up for this shit? instead, i ask questions about policy, and you refer me to a bunch of people who don't pick up their god damned phones.

i would never advocate violence on my page, but if have to bomb a uni department, teddy, why not go for financial aid first? what did those nice folks in math and science ever do to you? and anyway, you shouldn't kill the underpaid and overworked clerks (who, yeah i just called fucking morons 2 paragraphs ago, but let's be real here, this isn't their fault), just blow up the infastructure, make 'em start from square one, maybe they'll build a better system that doesn't destroy our souls. and yes, for the fbi agents reading my page, this is all just comedic hyperbole. i would not unironically advocate for bombing anything. just venting, chill tf out.

this is what happens when you have schools that have to run for profit instead of for the betterment of society and the advancement of knowledge. bloody meat grinders of bureaucracy that torment the spirit and rend the pocketbook.

i'm so fucking tired of this hold music man. who told anybody that this was a good idea? who asked for this? who said to themselves "man, being on hold sucks, i sure wish i could listen to elevator music piped through a game boy advance's asshole instead of being allowed to be alone with my thoughts."

and on that note, who invented phone menus? the whole point of a phone call, instead of just looking it up on a website or something, is so that i can talk to an actual human being who understands my issue on a level that isn't just a set of numbers. fuckin hell.

it's gone up to 36 minutes now! it's gone down a grand total of 5 minutes over the past half hour! god damn these vampires. i could be doing so much more with my life than this shit. i could have jacked off.

its the same fucking song. its been the same song for half an hour. i am losing my god damned mind.

18 minutes now! now it's 18! finally! wonder why 20 minutes just fuckin passed in the blink of an eye. just give me a god damned queue number, if you can't even get your system to give me a proper estimate.

DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD

emotionally im at the beach that makes you old

america has truly perfected tyranny. instead of a single, flashy figurehead who has complete power, they give that power to massive bureaucratic institutions that have motivations even more sociopathic and freedom-hating than the worst of despots, and their figureheads are mere rubber stamps giving the peasants the illusion of control. anyone can kill a man, but who can kill an agency? god damn them, god damn them all!

unbelievable. they hung up on me. they waste 42 minutes and 27 seconds of my life waiting for a human being, and they hung up on me. no hello, no who is this, just dropped like an ugly baby. unbelievable. it's moments like these, when the apathetic servants of the great shaitan spit in your face and laugh at you, when you truly begin to understand your dignity. it doesn't matter if i feel worthless, or if i fuck up sometimes, they can't fucking do this to me. it doesn't matter who i am, it doesn't matter who i know. you can't ask a human being to sit through the same terrible song for 42 minutes and 27 seconds dangling the carrot of maybe getting shit straight in front of their face, then drive them off a cliff and rip their dick off. god damn these vampires for what they've done to me.

(following section written a few hours later)

This story does have a happy ending, by the way. Finally got all my financial aid bullshit worked out. Still waiting on Student Accounts. Feel less hatred in my heart for those working in this shitty system. It really isn't their fault. Still hate this damned bureaucracy.

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